When I'm not writing for work, I try to write creatively. I'm usually the type of girl who loves to send cards, letters, notes, anything handwritten to make someone's day a little bit brighter. I also love to get mail. I often look forward to my birthday and the holidays when I know the mailbox will be filled with birthday and holiday wishes.
Since I have a passion for writing and connecting with others, I recently started pen pal writing during COVID. Wanting to keep my spirits up in a time where the news cycle is insanely negative, pen paling has been a fun way for me to continue to hone my writing skills and also connect with other people from around the world.
Currently, I have about 15 penpals that range in ages. All my pen pals are female, but it's super nice to connect on issues of our times. I've made pen pal friends in other countries as well (shoutout to Marina in Wales and Silvia in Italy) who teach me about their culture and their country. Some of my penpals are also journalists, editors, or executive producers in other parts of the country. I enjoy writing and learning about their experiences in the communications world.
While my pen pal journey started innocently enough during the COVID-19 pandemic, I have found another love of writing. There is something so special about receiving a hand written note or card. I signed up for the USPS Informed Delivery, where each morning, I receive an email with pictures of all the mail and packages that are coming that day. I get so excited when I see a letter from a penpal! I usually try to write back in the same day.
Here are some tips I want to share with you about connecting!
If you are afraid to give your address, consider a PO Box!
I can totally understand the fear of giving out your address to a complete stranger on Facebook. We don't exactly live in a neighborly world anymore. While most people are genuinely interested in making a connection, I can see the red flags already. I currently have one pen pal who I email with each week, which is also a great option if you are uneasy. Plus, once you get to know someone, you can always change to writing hand written letters too!
If you are scared to give out your direct address but you want to write by hand, highly consider taking out a PO Box. I know a number of my pen pals have PO Boxes. There is nothing wrong with it. Just make sure you remember to check it once a day, you'll want to reply to those letters soon!
2. Decorated or undecorated?
Just like any writer will tell you, it's not so much the paper you write on, but the content of what you are writing. This goes for pen paling too. I use plain white, college ruled paper to write my pen pal letters. Sure, I throw a few stickers on the paper, but I am in no means an artist. I'm also extremely upfront about my lacking artistic abilities, but none of my pen pals care. We are just happy to write back and forth with each other.
I also like to throw in sheets of stickers or tea bags with my letters. As long as it's flat and it can fit in a standard envelope, you can mail anything to your pen pals that you think they would like. Some of the things I have received in my letters are stickers, photos, coloring pages, recipe cards, post it notes, drawings, and tea bags.
3. Ask meaningful questions
I always end my letters with a list of questions for the response letter! I try to provide my pen pal with a chance to teach me about something, learn more about their culture or society, and downright have some fun. In my introduction letters, I usually put a list of my favorite things (movie, snack, song, color, Disney Princess, etc.) and ask them to send me the same list back.
I also like to get creative and send a little game in my letters. Often, I prepare a "this or that" list and circle all the things I would like. I send it in with my letter and ask my pen pal to circle all the things they like! This is a great way to get to know someone. Potential this or that questions could be ocean or mountains, vanilla or chocolate, hot fudge or caramel, movie or book, etc. Don't limit yourself! Share away!
4. You won't be a good match for everyone
Much like life, you aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. The same goes for the world of pen paling. For me, I love to write longer letters and the first couple letters I got from a pen pal were very short and sweet. You can ask in a letter that they write longer, but I just enjoy what I get.
That said, sometimes you'll find that you and your pen pal are just too different. It's okay to cut the cord on pen paling if you feel that things aren't going well in your letters. However, make sure you write to your pen pal and explain that you don't think they are a good fit for you. Maybe there is a common misunderstanding that they aren't aware of. If all else fails, find another pen pal.
and last but not least....
5. Be yourself
Be who you are! Don't try to mold yourself to be someone's ideal pen pal. There are billions of people in this world, you'll find the right fit eventually. Never settle or change who are just to fit the mold of another person. When you do find the right pen pal connection, I promise it will be 100% worth it!
As I'm typing this blog, I hear the dog barking which means only one thing; the mailman is here and according to my emails this morning, I have a lot of pen paling to do!
Signing off,
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